When we think of depression, we may picture someone who feels sad or hopeless.

But depression doesn’t look the same for everyone. Some people withdraw from activities they once enjoyed, while others continue going to work, caring for their families, and showing up for others, even when they are struggling inside.

Depression can affect a person’s mood, energy, concentration, sleep, and ability to manage everyday responsibilities. It can develop in response to grief, trauma, or difficult life circumstances, or be connected to biological and medical factors. For some, it may be temporary. For others, it can be a long-term or recurring condition.

We cannot always tell what someone is experiencing simply by looking at them.

That is why it matters to question our assumptions about mental health and how we respond when someone is struggling.

We can ask ourselves:

• Do we recognize that depression can affect people who seem happy, successful, or capable?
• Have we ever mistaken someone’s exhaustion, irritability, or withdrawal for a lack of effort or interest?
• Do we make it comfortable for people to talk honestly about their mental health?
• When someone shares that they are struggling, do we listen without immediately trying to fix the problem?
• Do we check in on ourselves and others, even when everything seems fine on the surface?

Supporting someone with depression doesn’t mean having all the answers. Sometimes, it starts with asking how they are really doing, listening without judgment, and staying connected even when they don’t have the energy to reach out. We can offer practical help, encourage professional support when needed, and remind people that they don’t have to navigate difficult seasons alone.

At Church of the Apostles, compassion includes caring for emotional and mental well-being. Our Spiritual Support Group offers a place for conversation and connection, and pastoral care is available through Rev. Kuhn. These resources can help people feel supported, alongside professional mental health care when needed.

We can also remember to extend that same compassion to ourselves. Struggling does not mean someone has failed, lacks faith, or isn’t trying hard enough. Depression is not a character flaw, and a person’s experience cannot always be resolved through positive thinking or willpower alone.

Sometimes, the most meaningful thing we can offer is the assurance that someone is seen, heard, and cared for, even when they aren’t feeling like themselves.

How can we become more attentive to our own mental health and more compassionate toward others who may be struggling in ways we cannot see?

Dementia can change much more than memory.

It can affect how a person communicates, understands their surroundings, responds to others, and experiences everyday life. For families and caregivers, those changes can be difficult to understand and even harder to navigate.

One of the most important lessons caregivers often learn is that the person experiencing dementia is not choosing these changes. A misplaced item, a repeated question, a change in behavior, or an unexpected reaction may be frustrating, but responding with patience and compassion can make a meaningful difference.

We can ask ourselves:

• Do we assume someone is being difficult when they may be confused or overwhelmed?
• How might we respond differently if we focused on what a person is experiencing rather than what we expect them to remember?
• Do we give people with dementia opportunities to laugh, connect, participate, and enjoy familiar activities?
• Are we patient when someone needs more time to communicate?
• How can we support caregivers without judging the choices they have to make?
• Do we recognize that caring for someone with dementia can be lonely, exhausting, and filled with difficult decisions?

For caregivers, there is rarely one perfect answer. Caring for someone at home may work for one family and become unsustainable for another. Choosing additional care or a residential setting is not a failure. Sometimes finding the right environment can provide opportunities for social connection, activities, and care that improve quality of life for everyone involved.

Support matters, too. A caregiver may already be carrying guilt, exhaustion, grief, and uncertainty. Comments that minimize their experience, question a diagnosis, or suggest that someone “doesn’t seem that bad” can add to that burden. Sometimes the most helpful thing we can offer is simply to listen, believe them, and ask what they need.

At Church of the Apostles, creating an inclusive community means remembering that people living with dementia are still people with stories, relationships, humor, preferences, and dignity. It also means recognizing and supporting the people who care for them.

A dementia diagnosis may change someone’s life, but it does not erase their worth or their place in our community.

How can we become a community where people living with dementia and those who care for them feel seen, respected, supported, and welcomed?

As we grow older, many of us will experience changes in mobility, vision, hearing, strength, or endurance.

A person who once moved through a building without thinking about it may eventually use a cane, walker, wheelchair, or other mobility aid. Others may find that stairs, long distances, difficult-to-read signs, or noisy spaces create barriers they never noticed before.

Disability isn’t always something we’re born with. Accessibility can become important to any of us as we move through different stages of life.

That gives us an opportunity to think differently about accessibility. It isn’t only about ramps, elevators, or automatic doors. It is also about communication, comfort, independence, and whether people can participate fully in the life of their community.

We can ask ourselves:

• Is information easy to read and understand?
• Are directions and signs clear?
• Is there accessible seating where people need it?
• Can someone move through our spaces comfortably and independently?
• Are there different ways to receive important information?
• What barriers might we overlook simply because we don’t experience them ourselves?

At Church of the Apostles, accessibility is part of creating a community where people can continue worshipping, serving, learning, and building relationships throughout every stage of life. Our wheelchair-accessible building, accessible parking, power-assisted bathroom doors, Sanctuary seating and audio devices, and other accommodations help make participation easier for people with a range of needs.

But accessibility is not a finished project. As our community changes, we can continue looking at our spaces and practices with fresh eyes. Sometimes a small change can make a significant difference in whether someone feels independent, comfortable, and included.

Thinking about accessibility also asks us to think beyond the present. If our own needs changed tomorrow, would we still be able to participate fully in the community we call home?

And if the answer isn’t yes for everyone, what could we change today to help make sure it is?

When we think about blindness or vision impairment, we may picture someone who cannot see at all. But vision loss is not one experience, and the ways people navigate the world can vary greatly.

Some people may have little or no vision. Others may have limited peripheral vision, difficulty seeing in low light, sensitivity to bright light, or clear vision in some situations but not others. Some people use magnifiers or other technology, while others may use a white cane, a guide dog, or another tool to help them navigate.

There is no single way to experience vision loss.

That is why one of the most helpful things we can do is let go of assumptions and pay attention to what each person needs.

We can ask ourselves:

• Do we assume someone needs help simply because they are vision impaired?
• When offering assistance, do we ask first rather than taking over?
• Would our directions be clear if someone could not see what we were pointing toward?
• Do we describe what is happening visually when it is important to understanding a conversation, presentation, or worship service?
• Are the printed and digital materials we provide easy to access in different ways?
• How might we make someone feel more comfortable asking for what they need?

Small changes can make a meaningful difference. Introducing yourself by name when greeting someone, using specific directions such as “left” or “right” instead of “over there,” and giving someone time to navigate without rushing them are simple ways to communicate respect. We can also be mindful about moving someone’s belongings or guide tools without permission.

At Church of the Apostles, we continue looking for ways to make worship, fellowship, and community events accessible to people with different needs. That means thinking not only about physical access, but also about how information is shared, how spaces are arranged, and how we communicate with one another.

Accessibility isn’t about assuming what someone needs. It is about creating a culture where people can tell us what they need and know they will be respected.

We may not always know what someone can see, what they need to navigate a space, or what tools help them participate. We don’t have to know all of those answers.

We simply need to be willing to ask, listen, and adapt.

What is one assumption about vision impairment we might reconsider, and how could changing that assumption help someone feel more included?

What happens when someone spends years believing that an important part of who they are is something they need to hide?

For many LGBTQ+ people, fear, shame, and rejection from family, community, or religious institutions have shaped their experiences of faith. Some have been told that who they are is wrong. Others have learned to hide parts of themselves simply to feel safe or accepted.

But sometimes, one person can offer a very different message.

A person who grew up in a conservative community knew from a young age that he was different. He became successful, well-liked, and involved in his community, but he also spent years hiding his sexuality. As an adult, the pressure of keeping that secret contributed to a deep depression. When he sought guidance from both a therapist and his parish priest, the messages he received were very different. One offered some support. The other told him that being openly gay would condemn him to Hell.

Then his Aunt Letty noticed that he was struggling.

She didn’t know his secret, but she reminded him that God never makes a mistake. She told him that because God had made him, he had purpose, and that he was meant to be exactly who God created him to be.

That message gave him hope. It helped him begin living more openly and eventually build a life with the man who would become his husband.

For many LGBTQ+ people, the Church has been a source of deep hurt. That history matters. So does the opportunity to offer something different.

We can ask ourselves:

• Do the words we use about LGBTQ+ people communicate God’s love or reinforce shame?
• Are we creating spaces where people can be honest about who they are without fear of rejection?
• How might our words or actions affect someone who is still figuring out whether it is safe to be themselves?
• What would it look like to remind someone, through our welcome, that they are already worthy of love and belonging?

At Church of the Apostles, being Open and Affirming means more than saying LGBTQ+ people are welcome. It means continuing to create a community where people can worship, serve, build relationships, and grow in faith without being asked to hide who they are.

The words from Psalm 139 offer a powerful reminder: “For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.“

What message are people receiving from us about who they are and how completely they are loved by God?

Not every disability is visible.

Someone may look perfectly healthy while managing chronic pain, an autoimmune condition, a neurological condition, mental health challenges, sensory sensitivities, or another disability that affects their daily life. Some conditions fluctuate, meaning a person may be able to participate fully one day and need more support the next.

Because we can’t always see what someone is experiencing, it’s easy to make assumptions.

We might wonder why someone needs to sit down, leave an event early, use a particular entrance, skip an activity, or change plans at the last minute. We might assume someone is being difficult when they are actually managing symptoms we cannot see.

What if, instead of asking whether someone “looks disabled,” we simply trusted people when they told us what they needed?

We can ask ourselves:

• Do we assume that someone who looks healthy has no accessibility needs?
• How do we respond when someone’s abilities or energy change from one day to the next?
• Do we make people explain or prove their needs before offering support?
• Could someone participate in our gathering without feeling embarrassed about needing a break or accommodation?
• Are we communicating important information in ways that work for people with different needs?
• When planning an event, have we considered things like seating, noise, lighting, food allergies, breaks, and easy access to exits?

At Church of the Apostles, we continue working to make our spaces more accessible and flexible for people with a wide range of needs. That includes accessible seating and parking, power-assisted bathroom doors, hearing devices in the Sanctuary, fidget tools, and options such as advance agendas, breaks, and flexible participation. Our 2026 renovations also gave us an opportunity to consider accessibility as part of improving our shared spaces.

But accessibility isn’t only about what we build or provide. It is also about the culture we create.

We can believe people when they tell us what they need. We can respect privacy instead of asking for explanations. We can offer flexibility without making someone feel like an inconvenience. And we can remember that an accommodation that helps one person may not be what another person needs.

We may never know what someone else is carrying. That shouldn’t stop us from creating spaces where people feel comfortable asking for what they need.

What could we change, even in a small way, to make our church more comfortable and accessible for someone whose needs we cannot see?

We don’t have to look far to find examples of antisemitism and Islamophobia in our communities and online.

Hurtful comments, stereotypes, harassment, discrimination, and acts of violence can leave people wondering whether they are safe simply because of their faith or identity. For those of us who may not experience these things ourselves, it can be easy to scroll past a comment, stay quiet when someone makes a joke, or assume that speaking up isn’t our responsibility.

But inclusion asks us to pay attention.

Antisemitism and Islamophobia aren’t simply someone else’s problem. They affect our neighbors, friends, coworkers, classmates, and members of our wider community.

As Christians, we can ask ourselves:

• Would I recognize an antisemitic or Islamophobic comment if I heard one?
• What assumptions might I carry about people whose faith is different from my own?
• What could I say if someone makes a harmful joke or comment?
• Do I stay silent because I don’t want to make a situation uncomfortable?
• How can I learn more about Judaism and Islam from people who practice those faiths rather than relying on stereotypes?
• What would it look like to make it clear that hatred and discrimination are not welcome in our community?

Being an ally doesn’t always require having the perfect words. Sometimes it starts with a simple “That’s not okay,” checking in with someone who has been targeted, reporting harmful behavior, or taking the time to learn rather than making assumptions.

At Church of the Apostles, our commitment to being an inclusive community means extending welcome beyond the people who worship alongside us. It means recognizing the dignity of our neighbors, including people whose faith traditions are different from our own, and continuing to learn how we can respond when that dignity is threatened.

We don’t have to experience discrimination ourselves to care about it.

When we hear something harmful, will we be willing to speak up? And when we don’t know what to say, will we be willing to learn?

Women have shaped Church of the Apostles in countless ways.

Some have served in visible leadership roles, while others have taught children, organized ministries, cared for neighbors, served on committees, welcomed newcomers, maintained our spaces, and quietly kept things moving behind the scenes. Their contributions may look different, but together they have helped shape the church we are today.

Women’s History Month gives us an opportunity to recognize those contributions while also asking a bigger question: Whose stories do we remember, and whose stories might we overlook?

When we take the time to learn about the women who came before us, we gain more than a list of names. We discover the people, decisions, acts of courage, and everyday moments of care that helped build our communities.

We can ask ourselves:

• Whose contributions have shaped our church, even if their names aren’t always remembered?
• Do we recognize leadership only when it happens in a formal or visible role?
• How do we make sure women of different ages, backgrounds, and experiences have opportunities to lead and contribute?
• Are we creating space for the next generation of women to see themselves as leaders?
• What can we learn from the women whose work helped make our community what it is today?

Celebrating women’s history isn’t only about looking back. It is also about recognizing the women who are shaping our church and communities now, and making sure future generations have the opportunity to lead, serve, create, and make their mark.

Who are the women whose stories have shaped you, your community, or your faith? And whose story could you take the time to learn next?

Black History Month offers an opportunity to learn, listen, and reflect on the experiences and contributions of Black people throughout history and in our communities today. But learning about Black history shouldn’t be limited to one month.

Understanding history helps us better understand the world we live in now. It can help us recognize experiences that may be different from our own, notice barriers that others encounter, and become more thoughtful neighbors, friends, and members of our community.

It also invites us to look beyond the stories we already know.

• Whose history did we learn in school, and whose stories were missing?
• Are we willing to listen to experiences that may challenge our assumptions?
• Do we recognize the contributions of Black leaders, artists, educators, neighbors, and community members around us?
• How might our own experiences shape what we notice, and what we don’t?
• What does it look like to move from learning about injustice to speaking up when we encounter it?
• How can we continue learning about Black history throughout the year?

At Church of the Apostles, we believe inclusion requires an ongoing willingness to learn and grow. Through opportunities for conversation, education, reflection, and shared learning, we continue exploring Black history and its connection to the community around us. Our Narthex displays and Q&A cards offer opportunities to pause, learn something new, and consider how history connects to our lives today.

Black History Month is not simply about looking backward. It is also an invitation to consider how the stories we learn shape the way we see one another today.

What can we learn from Black history that helps us become more aware, more compassionate, and more willing to speak up for inclusion?

For many people, the holiday season brings traditions, celebrations, and time with loved ones. But the holidays don’t feel the same for everyone.

For someone grieving a loved one, the first holiday without them can make familiar traditions feel very different. For someone experiencing financial strain, the pressure to buy gifts or prepare a big meal can be overwhelming. Others may be navigating loneliness, family conflict, changes in relationships, or simply a season that doesn’t look the way they hoped it would.

Inclusion during the holidays means recognizing and respecting those different experiences.

That might mean resisting the assumption that everyone is feeling joyful or festive. It might mean checking in with someone who seems quieter than usual, offering help without making someone feel like a project, or remembering that a simple invitation can mean a great deal to someone who is feeling alone.

We can ask ourselves:

• Are we making space for people who are grieving while others are celebrating?
• Do we assume everyone has the financial ability to participate in holiday traditions?
• How might we make invitations and gatherings more welcoming for someone who may be spending the holidays alone?
• Can we offer support without making assumptions about what someone needs?
• Are we paying attention to the people who may need a little extra care, even when they don’t ask for it?

At Church of the Apostles, compassion takes many forms throughout the holiday season. Our Holiday Gifting Ministry helps provide gifts for students at Martin Elementary, while our Preschool collects food and toys to support families in our community. The Compassion Team offers care and connection throughout the year, and Carols of Comfort & Hope creates space for those who may be carrying grief, loss, or difficult emotions during a season often centered on celebration.

These efforts remind us that inclusion isn’t about making everyone experience the holidays the same way. It’s about making sure no one feels that they have to navigate a difficult season alone.

As we move through the holidays, perhaps we can pause before assuming how someone is feeling and simply ask:

How are you doing, really? And what would help you feel cared for this season?