Have you ever been told to “sit still,” “pay attention,” “make eye contact,” or “just focus”?

For some people, these expectations are simple. For others, they can create barriers to participating, learning, communicating, or feeling comfortable in a space.

Neuroableism is discrimination or prejudice toward people whose brains work differently, including people who are autistic, have ADHD, learning differences, or other forms of neurodivergence. It can be obvious, but more often it shows up in assumptions about how people should behave, communicate, learn, or participate.

Creating an inclusive community means recognizing that there isn’t one “right” way to think, process information, communicate, worship, or experience the world.

So, what might we notice if we look at our own assumptions?

• Do we assume someone isn’t listening because they aren’t making eye contact?
• Do we mistake movement, fidgeting, or needing a break for being disruptive?
• Do we expect everyone to process information or communicate in the same way?
• Do we make room for different learning and communication styles?
• Are we creating spaces where someone can ask for what they need without having to explain or defend themselves?
• How might we respond differently if we focused less on whether someone is behaving “normally” and more on whether they are able to participate meaningfully?

At Church of the Apostles, we are continuing to look for practical ways to make our spaces more welcoming to different neurological needs. Fidget tools are available in the Compassion Corner, and we recognize that flexibility can make a meaningful difference in worship and other gatherings. Providing agendas in advance, allowing for breaks, and creating different ways to participate can help more people feel comfortable and included.

We also know that accessibility isn’t one-size-fits-all. What helps one person may not help another, and sometimes the most inclusive thing we can do is simply listen when someone tells us what they need.

Because making room for neurodiversity isn’t about asking people to fit into one way of being.

It’s about making our community spacious enough for people to show up as they are.

How do we make sure everyone can hear, understand, and fully participate in our community?

For some people, hearing happens differently. Hearing loss can be temporary or permanent, mild or profound, and everyone’s experience is different. Some people use hearing aids or cochlear implants. Others rely on assistive listening devices, lip reading, captions, sign language, or a combination of tools. And sometimes, the biggest barrier isn’t hearing loss itself, but whether the spaces around us are designed with different ways of communicating in mind.

Audism is discrimination or exclusion based on a person’s ability to hear. It can be intentional, but it can also appear in everyday assumptions and habits. We might assume everyone can hear a conversation across a room, follow along when someone speaks without facing the audience, or understand everything being said from the pulpit.

So, what can we notice and do differently?

• Do we make sure people can access important information in more than one way?
• Do we face people when we speak and give them time to respond?
• Do we assume someone is ignoring us when they may simply not have heard us?
• Are we creating spaces where people can tell us what they need without feeling like a burden?
• How might worship, meetings, and fellowship feel different when we consider the many ways people communicate?

At Church of the Apostles, we are continuing to look for ways to make worship and our building more accessible. Hearing devices are available in the Sanctuary for those who need them, and the completion of our 2026 Sanctuary renovations brought improvements to the overall sound quality. We also have a member who is willing to provide American Sign Language interpretation during worship with advance notice.

These are meaningful steps, but inclusion is an ongoing practice. Accessibility isn’t simply about having a device available or making an accommodation when someone asks. It’s about creating a culture where people know they are welcome to ask, where their needs are taken seriously, and where we continue looking for ways to make participation easier.

As we think about hearing and Deaf inclusion, perhaps the question isn’t only “Can everyone hear us?”

It is also “Are we listening to what people need in order to fully belong?”

How often do we make assumptions about someone based on their age?

We might assume someone is “too young” to understand something, “too old” to learn something new, or that certain activities, responsibilities, or opportunities are meant for a particular generation. Sometimes these assumptions are obvious. Other times, they are so familiar that we hardly notice them.

Ageism can affect people at every stage of life. It can show up in the words we use, the opportunities we offer, the way we communicate, and even in the expectations we have for ourselves and others. Phrases like “You’re too old for that,” “Kids these days…” or “She’s having a senior moment” may seem harmless, but they can reinforce stereotypes about what people can or cannot do because of their age.

So, what might we notice if we look a little closer?

• Do we make assumptions about someone’s abilities based on their age?
• Do we create opportunities for people of different generations to learn from one another?
• Are we making information and activities accessible to people who may not use technology in the same ways?
• Do we make room for both new ideas and years of experience?
• Have we ever decided something wasn’t “for us” simply because of our age?

At Church of the Apostles, we believe every person has something valuable to offer. Across worship, service, learning, leadership, fellowship, and community outreach, people of different generations help make COA what it is. We continue looking for ways to make those spaces welcoming and accessible, while recognizing that inclusion is not something we check off a list. It is something we practice.

Being inclusive means asking not only “Who is here?” but also “Who might be missing, and why?”

There is no expiration date on learning, serving, leading, growing, or making a difference. And there is no minimum age for having something meaningful to contribute.

How can we make sure every generation has room to grow, participate, and be heard?