For many people, the holiday season brings traditions, celebrations, and time with loved ones. But the holidays don’t feel the same for everyone.

For someone grieving a loved one, the first holiday without them can make familiar traditions feel very different. For someone experiencing financial strain, the pressure to buy gifts or prepare a big meal can be overwhelming. Others may be navigating loneliness, family conflict, changes in relationships, or simply a season that doesn’t look the way they hoped it would.

Inclusion during the holidays means recognizing and respecting those different experiences.

That might mean resisting the assumption that everyone is feeling joyful or festive. It might mean checking in with someone who seems quieter than usual, offering help without making someone feel like a project, or remembering that a simple invitation can mean a great deal to someone who is feeling alone.

We can ask ourselves:

• Are we making space for people who are grieving while others are celebrating?
• Do we assume everyone has the financial ability to participate in holiday traditions?
• How might we make invitations and gatherings more welcoming for someone who may be spending the holidays alone?
• Can we offer support without making assumptions about what someone needs?
• Are we paying attention to the people who may need a little extra care, even when they don’t ask for it?

At Church of the Apostles, compassion takes many forms throughout the holiday season. Our Holiday Gifting Ministry helps provide gifts for students at Martin Elementary, while our Preschool collects food and toys to support families in our community. The Compassion Team offers care and connection throughout the year, and Carols of Comfort & Hope creates space for those who may be carrying grief, loss, or difficult emotions during a season often centered on celebration.

These efforts remind us that inclusion isn’t about making everyone experience the holidays the same way. It’s about making sure no one feels that they have to navigate a difficult season alone.

As we move through the holidays, perhaps we can pause before assuming how someone is feeling and simply ask:

How are you doing, really? And what would help you feel cared for this season?